Naad Evasive
I reflect on the glory days when naad and I relished each other's company. Quality sessions of meditation with absorption on naad were a mainstay in my practice. I looked forward to it each time. These days, our relationship is rather tense. Where it will abandon me during entire attempts to meditate. Naad’s audible vibrations linger in the background, but with refusal to render connection.
Typically, when I mentally chant the “Om Namo Shivaya” mantra, there is a psychic pull towards the location of naad. However, now within moments of my arrival, naad evades my attempts to link with concentration. The result is usually met with much frustration on my part. Now I have accepted the denial. Naad has stipulated its terms for association and the explicit consequences if they are not met. When I spoke with madhva about this, he mentioned that naad is evasive when one has many associations and engages in psychic back and forth communications with them.
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The basic reason for inability to stay with naad is having diversions. Some diversions have the power to captivate the coreSelf such that it is unable to be in the realm of naad.
There is the global environment which may contain diversions at a particular time but there is also the local psyche, as an inner environment, which also may be infected with diversions.
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As we understand, any relationship (here, coreSelf to Naad) may have its ups and downs over the course of (a long) time. The quality of connection in the relationship is as explained above directly affected by other factors. These factors are typically external to oneself as in associations, they can also be affected by the quality of one’s energy to include diversions, preoccupations, concerns from others to even include diet and other personal variations.
But the commitment to the relationship in the end is what is most critical. I admire your persistence in the face of challenging energies, and of course for sharing.The strength of the bond is tested under challenges. We shall persevere and overcome! By the graces of the perpetual benefactor Naad, to InSelf yogi/nis and their Shri Gurus.
