Excess Sex Charge Buildup & Dispersal
During August 2022 there was involuntary sexual abstinence due to physical proximity limitations. As a result, sexual flirtations, and the attraction to sexually appealing physical forms increased, especially whenever I was in public spaces. I also recalled multiple experiences in the subtle world where sexual desires were fulfilled with a partner. However, this did not satisfy the appetite for physical contact, it only increased it. In addition, memories bombarded the intellect, inspiring a reminiscence of the pleasure sensations previously derived. Throughout the bombardment, I managed to evade masturbation, but I could not shake the thoughts. These events and more culminated in an insatiable sexual urge.
On August 26th, 2022, the anticipated day arrived, where the accumulated flirtations would be actualized. It was this same day that I also had what I consider to be an interesting experience with kundalini. I assumed froggy posture during breath infusion, and kundalini rose intensely into the subtle head resulting in bliss sensations being felt throughout the entire body. I almost lost control of the physical body, so I lowered it to the ground until the sensations subsided. Maintaining the locks, I stood upwards, and it rose again into the subtle head.
Noticing this, I continued to repeat this process of lowering, and standing each time it subsided, and kundalini repeated its ascent. I was surprised by this, and decided to count each time it occurred, with the intensions of stopping the session until kundalini halted its ascent. Various abstract visuals were perceived, but I could not articulate them. Thus, I struggled with composing descriptive notes. Kundalini ascended the spine intensely into the subtle head for about 12 to 15 times in just the froggy posture.
During the last arousal, I lost awareness of the physical body. I became aware in a subtle dimension which seemed like nothing else existed. I was spooked and became concerned for the physical body. This happened in a few seconds, and I ended the session after regaining consciousness of the physical body. Lo and behold, the urges were not felt for a few days or more. I did not track how long it lasted. But it was for an extended period of time.
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Throughout the bombardment, I managed to evade masturbation, but I could not shake the thoughts. These events and more culminated in an insatiable sexual urge.
Evade masturbation? How? What supported that evasion as compared when you are unable to evade it?
Lo and behold, the urges were suppressed for a few days.
Suppressed? what does that mean? Absence of an urge is not necessary caused by suppression of the urge.
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Madhva Said: Evade masturbation? How? What supported that evasion as compared when you are unable to evade it?
Rishabha's Response: I reduced masturbation a few years ago after I quitted pornography cold turkey. I think I developed some resistance over the years from ignoring the impulse and utilizing distractions earlier on. Sometimes I would jump up and move about if I caught myself approaching that moment of indulgence. Other times I avoided touching the genitals in anyway that may stimulate it. And if stimulation occurred I resisted and busied myself, fighting thoughts of indulgence until it subsided.
I think it also helped that I had sexual partners along the way. As I would forego masturbation for the actual intercourse. Additionally, I sometimes knowingly and unknowingly acted out my prior attraction to porn stars and other females with my partner at the time. This helped me to resist the temptations to resort back to porn. Which was the main culprit for my masturbation.
Now, after years of resisting the temptations, masturbation may occur for me once or twice for the entire year. When it did occur over the past year. It was with a partner over the phone. Porn was not involved, since I am terrified of relapsing to that addiction. But the flirtations, and my exposure and attraction to females in my environment at the time. Lead me to simulate the sexual act over the phone with the partner.
I still get the temptations, and the prods to do it. But my habit is to divert my attention away from it. Doing this has gotten a lot easier over time.
Madhva Said: Suppressed? what does that mean?
I used the word “suppressed” here to declare that I am still victimized by the need for sexual indulgence. The particular experience did not completely eradicate the need for sex indulgence. However, I did not feel inclined to indulge for an extended period of time. Hence, there was a temporary disinterest in sexual intercourse or a temporary release of the need for it.
Madhva Said: Absence of an urge is not necessary caused by suppression of the urge.
Rishabha's Response: Would the appropriate descriptive word be “Suspension?”
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Madhva Said: Absence of an urge is not necessary caused by suppression of the urge.
Rishabha's Response: Would the appropriate descriptive word be “Suspension?”
Madhva:
Neither word. Suspension indicates personal action to bring about that state. Consider stating that the urge disappeared or was not felt for the given time span. Analyze to see if it was an involuntary event.
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Ok, Thank You for the clarification.
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