Meditation Malpractice
During meditation yesterday I made a realization regarding my thoughts. It was late in the morning, and I apparently had gotten off bed on the wrong foot. There was much pressure to get stuff done.
In addition, I write this post today since time got crunched and I ended up commenting on the site regarding another topic under much stress. Some subtle details are now missing in what I write, as my subtle footing remain scanty and elusive.
Anyways, as I sat trying to stay with naad which I come to realize does require energy, at least the energy of focus (I may find out more about that later in time). Due to the time pressure and stress of it all, I was tempted to go against the objective of avoiding mental analysis.
When I directed the focus energy towards my list of activities in order to run it for check, I realized that it wasn’t presenting itself, rather I couldn’t access it. Even though my interest turned towards the upcoming activities of the day I couldn’t connect with them.
This felt like being in a room and trying to be present in a different room and be part of the activities in that other room. Ordinarily this is not difficult to do, I can nilly willy silly get around with the intellect. My kriya practice was relatively intense even if late in the morning, and allowed me to access a relatively higher level of consciousness.
Interestingly enough, I could still connect and be distracted by other undesired thoughts (as usual), and my interest as I wanted was not to focus on them. The activities I wanted to focus on wouldn’t be. I concluded that these thoughts are located in different areas of my psyche, and that they have different sources, and that my interest or will does not determine what is presented and what I can connect with.
Today during meditation, and following a less intense and shorter yoga session, I tried to investigate more on my attachment/ focus interest to thoughts in regards to their location. I realized that sex charged thoughts require the attention energy to actually connect with their location in the body; that normally happens at the subconscious level.
When the interest is turned in a random direction that is not the location of the thought, it seems unlikely that the intellect will access it. The focus has to be turned to the object in order for the intellect to work on it.
So my understandings were that:
- Kriyas directly move the psyche in higher levels of consciousness.
- Thoughts are located in different areas of the psyche, and some have native domains.
- Thoughts become accessible to the intellect only (not confirmed) when the focus energy is targeting them.
- Thoughts differ in quality and other respects such as their nature and origination.
