Halting a (so-called) inSelf Yoga Class Teaching
Halting a (so-called) inSelf Yoga Class Teaching
After about twenty years of friendship that involved more than one possible flavor of a relationship; only spring season a year ago (2015) did I finally decide to cooperate or accept to share inSelf Yoga in the more formal setting of a class, besides the once a couple of years occasion at the most that would present along my way.
Still, such a class cannot in my experience be anything more than a platform to eventually spot and connect with individual and unique participants for an inSelf Yoga conversation, barely the introductory practice yet. Then from that “one on one” the possibility of progress can be sought after, antithetically to proselytization.
This decision was a default type of situation in the sense that over the years the energy of this invitation was present in various ways, and from different angles. Finally, when the moment was ripe and in hindsight circumstantially right and perhaps justified or rationalized, it felt organic to tend to the buried seed of impulse in bearing its fruits from a tree rooted in a distinct and peculiar soil.
Other(s) could see and determine the breach, but I was subjugated and self-deluded in operating on a sentimental basis. As a result even if some benefits particularly vain social or karmic assistance were shared from the endeavor, I am inclined to understand that I was offering damnation in lieu of salvation, strictly considering and limiting to inSelf Yoga as I now see it.
The premise was fundamentally fraudulent to genuine inSelf development. A deeper understanding and acceptance of inSelf Yoga practice also contributed to my taking a leaner trajectory. Considering my utter improbability of success; it is highly doubtable if not impossible to be of help to anyone else, from my perspective and in my situation stating personally and individually.
From my neophyte position, a discrimination of the directional flow of the engagement energy while involved in any form of teaching or sharing is distinct to that of remaining strictly in a learning mode and or status. Such realization I make based on the experience as a lower caliber jiva; one not specially endowed or specifically designated. It was not sufficient to hear or read for that understanding to mature.
So this exposition over that year of instructing others has been an instrumental boon in realizing and accepting higher concept of the practice in this particular regard. It was evident that rebirth circumstance(s) can be an impactful aspect; I have also come to see and realize the obstacle represented by the exploiting interest of human nature when it comes to this enterprise.
Individuals invariably will possess some level of inherited and inherent exploitation interest, by nature and by definition. Generally exposing others to this practice can easily become a source of serious disadvantage, unbeknownst to them. Their levels of perception on this path would not allow them to adopt the proper indispensable attitude towards this most unlikely practice.
It is also out of responsibility for others that I would protect them and strive to pull-the-reins-in-on my own impure and self-destructive desire, a nurturing instance of personal growing pain. The class was circumstantially created and interestingly ended in a very similar way, in the presence of the same exact agents who were almost standing in the same relative physical positions. In addition, I was going through a major life transition then as I am now.
As a unique and distinct individual soul I can only continue to deal and share energy with others in this manifestation. It is important if at all possible to do so as based on eventual advancement and or under the direction of an advanced master, a proper assessment of my personal position on this path as well as an improved appreciation of that of its advanced self-evident representatives; and their stringent non-imposed codes.
Therefore, only in instances where I may see it as my responsibility to bear the herculean burden, based on assignment could I engage in sharing (and then according to designated modality), as that could be the only acceptable instance for me. Over the years I have personally grown wary of those situations as well. Over the years I have grown leery of my own advancement as well.
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Okay, so much for the extra-terrestrial language. How about translating this for us ordinary human? -
Recent Memories of sharing
As I reminisced, memories and realizations came around. It was important to write them down in order to consolidate conclusions. Some aspects are only evident to ones whom I have closely associated with over the years. Otherwise it is only to inform that the Transcendental Yoga class site which was linked to inSelf Yoga site is permanently deleted.
Generally and simply speaking, I have gone full circle. I thought that it was a matter of somehow finding the right way, circumstance and setting (and even person) to share. About 15 years ago when Rishi Michael came for me, I saw in him a real one on account of his great humility, lack of greed as it were or even desire for disciples and followers, et cetera.
Although his position and writings were discouraging towards this, I still continued to provide assistance to others and put Rishi in a position to deal with them; as he would be the one able to get through. After all he is the great yogi master who wrote so many books…
At the same time I also was aware that the practice per se was not even to be done in the open. Only in the past year would I go to a park, find a secluded place for afternoon yoga, occasionally. So there was some type of understanding for the need for secrecy, but a vague and almost superstitious one.
From teaching openly, I can see that I was influenced by the desire and energies of others as well as my own. As a result it couldn’t be the right thing for me. I am not able to see the position of these energies in relation to the work I need to do for the self. And, others are only able to take up to this practice based on their personal alignment and relationship with nature or providence.
Besides, in these times where the environments are so taxing considering the all compelling need for survival, a technique this powerful will easily be exploited. That is very risky for me; therefore it is safer that the responsibility be borne by advanced yogis. They can safely engage designated others and train them in taming instinct, navigating social arenas and pushing them into their heads deeper.
Now when I read that Lord Krishna sees himself as the qualified person to teach “as low as” karma yoga, I go well of course “duh”. To imagine that I can help anyone beyond karma yoga where Bhisma Deva couldn’t to save his own life…
One important aspect is that I could have been stopped from teaching and then I would have been deprived of the opportunity to make this specific growth, therefore quite possibly plot a way to live it out later on or in future birth(s). As a teacher and also counselor by trade and proclivity in this lifetime, it is was exceptional for me to come to consider inSelf Yoga as distinct to any other human or natural endeavor, and that sounds fanatical.
The class was a success outwardly, at the end participants requested that I make some videos or at least continue in the format of a Skype session or other. It is right and can be life saving for others, for me it seems to have also served its invaluable purpose. By an unlikely fortune I was saved from my circumstance so that this time it did not take a life of its own from where it could continue to wrestle me beyond the graves.
