Breaking out of the Cage

Meditationtime Forum Post

Date:  Posted 3 years before May 06, 2016

 

MiBeloved 3 years ago

Freeing the psyche from its birthright sexual indulgence design is like breaking out of a strong iron cage. After puberty one is usually locked down in the tight security prison of needing sexual indulgence. This causes the entire psyche to become hell bent of having sexual opportunities. This plagues the self day and night, night and day for years, even for some of us for the rest of the life of the body.

 

The interesting feature about sex is the pleasure of it. This pleasure is mind boggling. So what has nature done?

 

It designed the psyche in such a way as to tie the most intriguing exciting pleasure with the most restrictive function. Think of fresh cheese and a mouse. How many times will the mouse attempt to get the cheese which is set in a neck-breaking trap?

 

What do you think?

 

Once?

 

Twice?

 

After painfully losing its body in the attempt to get the cheese, will the mouse go for it again in a new life when it takes rebirth in the same environment? How many lives do you think it will take for the rodent to desist, to lose interest, in the cheese?

           

Alfredo 3 years ago

This is my Achilles' heel, so every time you write about this, or remind us about this, I simply drink the words.

           

Jivana Kennedy 3 years ago

Michael, Isn't this a little like a 'chicken little the sky is falling' approach?

 

Is this a personal experience of yours?

 

I love sex, and yet I have been by choice peacefully celibate for 7 or 8 years.

 

No struggle whatsoever.

 

I have equanimity about sex, and I teach others to have the same.

 

The tension created by the struggle, is anti-life...IMHO.

 

There are better ways to mature oneself around sexuality....

 

IF someone is mature enough to reach for them.

           

MiBeloved 3 years ago

Jivana,

 

Best thing to do is to ignore such posts.

 

You know how it goes:

 

Different strokes for different folks.

 

On the serious side of your inquiry:

 

There are two methods:

 

    Passive celibacy

    Dynamic celibacy

 

Passive celibacy may just be what you are doing, so whatever you learn, teach about it at any place, even on Meditation Time. Someone out there might be trying to master that and might be lost for a method. Explain that.

 

Others who are interested in dynamic or aggressive effortful celibacy may be disinclined towards that.

 

Explain your system and ignore what it is not.

 

Hey, one other thing in the tantric process there is the dual system and the loner system. In the dual system two people try to explore sexuality. In the loner system one person alone does the exploration.

 

It depends on a person’s nature and the resulting inclinations.

           

Jivana Kennedy 3 years ago

Thanks Michael,

 

However, I do not have a system per se nor would I recommend one.

 

As a tantrika what I do recommend is that one becomes ever more allowing, while being the witness.

 

Increasing awareness around sexuality can take lifetimes, depending upon where one is beginning.

 

To use your frames of reference, I also do not recommend people to get stuck in any system, but rather flow between them as experience grows, and to give space for the changes. I also recommend this fluidity with respect to other corners people paint themselves into, such as gay, straight, monogamous, polyamorous, and so on.

 

I am obviously in a loner 'system' at present, and would be in a dual system the minute a sublimely well matched soulmate capable of maithuna ritual, came on the scene...but they are not exactly hanging out at the local Wal-Mart. Although I have registered my 'desire' with the powers that be.

 

And,... if he never shows up, I am making love with existence anyway..so no problem.

 

That's what I would call truly 'breaking out of the cage'.

           

Jettins 3 years ago

Interesting perspectives.

 

Hello Jivanna, I am glad to see you're posting more.

           

MiBeloved 3 years ago

Jivana Wrote:

However, I do not have a system per se nor would I recommend one.

 

As a tantrika what I do recommend is that one become ever more allowing, while being the witness.

 

MiBeloved’s Response:

Really, Jivana? That is gibberish. You have to have some system even though it may not be declared, put in black and white, or made into some formal process. When we swim we use our arms and feet mostly and the alligator is better at it just using the whole body and the tail.

 

Everything has got its system.

 

Some people do not trust the ever more allowing bit, but that is their take on the issue. If it works for them then great and if it does not, then in time they will abandon it. Eventually even the gators which have so much confidence in water, give up that life and become land mammals, albeit after thousands and thousands of years.

 

One thing about you which people are going to have to get used to if you are going to post regularly is that you are silent on what you do. You mention what you do and then you do not give details. I am just saying that to alert other members because on this site, we are very open and are not particular about hiding anything. This is an open site and we all reserve the right to punch each other in the face while we are in the ring but we drink at the bar right after and resume our friendships immediately.

 

Where I grew up which is in Guyana and Trinidad, it is ingrained that you do not get between a husband and wife. This is because the two might get into some very heated arguments and may even pull weapons on one another, but if you try to part them, then you are in trouble because then both of them turn on you and it might be your death.

 

So, on this site we are like that in a way, where we disagree but still we are kin to each other.

 

So before you speak your mind, tighten your clothing, flex your muscles and then jump in the ring.

 

===========

 

Increasing awareness around sexuality can take lifetimes, depending upon where one is beginning.

 

I agree that it depends on the evolutionary development of the individual. This is the problem with spiritual development, that nearly each person is at a different stage. I agree that a person has to realize his or her position and then move on from there.

 

To use your frames of reference, I also do not recommend people to get stuck in any system, but rather flow between them as experience grows, and to give space for the changes. I also recommend this fluidity with respect to other corners people paint themselves into, such as gay, straight, monogamous, polyamorous, and so on.

 

As for people painting themselves into corners but it is mostly about security and self esteem and people might be doing that for the most part to fit into something or to rebel against something. One person might find that rebelling is a way to form an identity, while another might find that confirming is the way to form an identity.

 

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Jivana Wrote:

I am obviously in a loner 'system' at present, and would be in a dual system the minute a sublimely well matched soulmate capable of maithuna ritual, came on the scene...but they are not exactly hanging out at the local Wal-Mart. Although I have registered my 'desire' with the powers that be.

 

MiBeloved’s Response:

How about searching in the astral world, or are you just seeing this as a physical reality. And by the way, do the members who are not familiar with Sanskrit some translation of the word maithuna.

 

I like the way you mentioned register my ‘desire’ with the powers that be. That sort of confidence in subtle perception and the supernatural sure qualifies you to be a member of this forum.

 

Greetings Friend!!!!

 

==================

Jivana Wrote:

And,... if he never shows up, I am making love with existence anyway..so no problem. Emoticon

 

That's what I would call truly 'breaking out of the cage'.

 

MiBeloved’s Response:

May as well Love life if you cannot be anywhere else. Those guys from back in the LSD days, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young used to sing, I think it was a Stills song about if you can’t be with the one you love, then honey love the one you are with.

 

Pretty tough advice!

           

Jivana Kennedy 3 years ago

Okay, let's see...  system... Well let's see. If I have a system, it's about opening in all of the chakras.

 

I do not really deal with 'most people'. I deal best with those with whom I have a resonance....we speak in a similar idiom. Vibrate most often in similar predominating chakras.

 

Yes, most people have a hard time realizing their position, because they have few true reference points. As you know, when you live in an ashram you see everyone in a deeper nakedness than in ordinary life, yes? So, you can better judge where you are at relative to the rest.... at least in that milieu.

 

As for identity, the more open one is in all chakras the less one needs an identity, which is mostly a fiction, anyway, right?

 

Searching in the astral world. I suppose in a sense I do that. I'm sure males float in and out of my field all the time. Someday, I might like to engage with one with some skin and muscle on it, though.

 

As for Crosby, Stills, etc. I can always "love the one I'm with"... letting them physically enter me is on a whole other level. How many men are aware enough to enter a woman as though she is sacred? And that gets amplified when they imagine that sex is a sin. Oye!

 

What I do....

 

I 'identify' as a tantric healer, because if you're going to make yourself available as a healer, you have to give people some idea to identify you with. So, that's the closest way I can let them know what I do. I work with men, and women, and couples.

 

Sessions are 90 minutes or two hours or they sign on for a series of Ten Hours. Five 2 hour sessions.

 

For the first half hour to one hour of a session the space is open for a person to share whatever is going on with them that caused them to seek out my care and counsel. I give them a basic understanding of tantra, of chakras, and of biological energy.

 

During this time I am very present and attentive to them, so that they get to see and feel a kind of presence that is quite new for many of them. I always hope they will take this quality of presence into their relationships, so they can bring new levels of intimacy and healing into their relationships. With men, the teaching generally falls into a few categories..overcoming premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, recovering from prostate issues or surgery and learning to be a more contemplative lover. I teach some movement meditation, and do a form of soothing bodywork as a way to get rigid bodies to let go of accumulated armoring.

 

With women, it is often recovering from abuse, awakening the goddess, restoring femininity to a woman who has become more masculine than she would prefer. With couples, it varies greatly from couple to couple.

 

My clients are unclothed during the healing treatment. I am clothed. ...always.

 

Any more curiosities?

 

I am beginning to create a discussion (a group) on in LinkedIn called MAKING SEX SACRED, and it is coming along very nicely. I feel as though I am nurturing an important and paradigm shifting conversation, which is still in its infancy, but which has the potential for bringing much light and healing to a subject that has, IMHO, been held in the shadows for way too long.

 

Namaste friends

 

Jivana

           

MiBeloved 3 years ago

Jivana Wrote:

How many men are aware enough to enter a woman as though she is sacred? And that gets amplified when they imagine that sex is a sin. Oye!

 

MiBeloved’s Response:

Besides penetration and the religious taboos, considering that this is the physical world and that these bodies developed first in a female body. Then it makes sense that both man and woman should consider woman as being sacred. At least it stands to reason that if you think you are divine, then that is even more reason to regard woman with sanctity.

 

But that might require some deep reflection and some control over animal nature which is embedded in the human beings.

 

==========

 

Jivana Wrote:

During this time I am very present and attentive to them, so that they get to see and feel a kind of presence that is quite new for many of them. I always hope they will take this quality of presence into their relationships, so they can bring new levels of intimacy and healing into their relationships. With men, the teaching generally falls into a few categories..overcoming premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, recovering from prostate issues or surgery and learning to be a more contemplative lover. I teach some movement meditation, and do a form of soothing bodywork as a way to get rigid bodies to let go of accumulated armoring.