Alinkar Nan's explanation does not tally with what it says in the Pali cannon. Nan is giving a history revision to make excuses for Buddha's cruel behavior towards his family and later towards women who were left up due to the number of men who deserted their domestic responsibilities by runnning off to become monks. In addition there were the young men who left who in the future would have taken wives but who left that aside as well.

It would be better for someone to explain the cruelty by first explaining that he was cruel and then stating if it made sense in the long range. Nan's explanation cannot be accepted because it is not a fact, even Buddha himself when he explained what happened how he looked at the situation of his wife on the night when he left, practically boasted about his seeing the whole situation of domestic life as nothing but illusion. He said nothing about any enjoyment about the fruits of renunciation. He had no idea about that at the time. His act was a selfish cruel act even though when looking at it in retrospect, it makes some sense for someone to do that.

In contrast the way that Krishna told Arjuna was the way to stick it out in the domestic situation, even though Krishna told Uddhava to walk away from it and never look back. But Krishna taught Arjuna karmayoga  or the application of yoga proficiency to domestic situation, rather than to leave it up abruptly as Buddha did.

I feel there is no necessity to sanitize Buddha's cruelty. Nature itself is cruel. Looking at nature as it is, one eventually understands that one has to act for one's personal benefit just as Buddha acted. At some stage, in some life, it comes down to that but still it is a cruel act nevertheless. Why drum up excuses for it.

One other thing I wish to add is that the average person cannot walk away with such total disregard. The average person has neither the insight nor willpower to do any such thing, even though superficially some people try to repeat his behavior.

The guy is a total exception. He is a shock person like witnessing a lightning strike at midnight. The brillance of it is wonderful but who can repeat it?