Yogis: Married or Single?
Meditationtime Forum Post
Date: Posted 5 years before May 22, 2017
MiBeloved 5 years ago
During breath infusion practice yesterday afternoon Tibeti Guruji asked me about the situation of married men. He wanted to contrast the life of an ascetic who was married and the one who never married, to see what the difference was. He felt that there might be some hidden aspect in the married life which makes it superior to the celibate bachelor life. He presented the following argument for the married life:
=================
If the ascetic makes a contribution by forming a family, then that might be better than the single life as a monk. Gautama Buddha did not like the married life. Every monk who followed him in his time had to avoid or leave aside the married life. In fact Buddha himself is the example of a person who spurned the married life. He had a lovely wife, concubines, a son and still he rejected the married life. What flaw did he perceive in it?
=================
I replied:
The astrologer told Buddha’s father, that Buddha would be the greatest ascetic or a world conquering monarch like Genghis Khan. This means that ultimately the married life pans out in political sovereignty as its maximum potential. In both cases as a militant ruler or as an ascetic leader, Buddha was to be the role model for male human beings.
The householder life is a great service facility but it is not related to spiritual progression directly, that is its defect. All the same, insincere life as a celibate ascetic is worthless and may even carry the monk to hell. There is no spiritual glory in the married life. And there is none in the unmarried ascetic life if the monk does not master celibacy in terms of yoga practice to make the reproductive energy course upwards through the body.
The householder ascetic might stockpile some pious activities for his future lives, but his course is still risky. He cannot put his foot down on the earth and say, “I know for sure that what I did will bring all good fortune in future lives.” Therefore the married life is filled with uncertainty because its effect-energies which are carried over into other lives require supports from fate for their fulfillment. And you never know what fate will do.
Advancement of one family, one clan or even one country cannot be done without the suppression of others. Hence the progression of social status for the family, clan or country causes the formation of resentment of those who are suppressed or denied privileges and that it is the bane of married life. Underneath the whole ancestral trail is a violent passage of exploitation and advantage-taking. Such is this life.
The only advantage I see to the married life is the approval for it by providence. Providence is more responsible and less objecting to the married life. The advantage of it is itself its danger because once something is approved by fate, there might be arrogance in its performance. Then later when fate withdraws its influence, the ascetic will be left to face the ensuing rejection.
With the support of providence, one becomes a great man, a respected and appreciated member of human society. And with the withdrawal of that support which will happen sooner or later, one is left in an abject state of mind, without respect and with feeling of neglect and rejection.
In addition an ascetic who was married, must also clean up the psyche of those unwanted features of his life during the married years. How will he forget the carnal pleasures? How will he rid himself of the repeated need for sexual indulgence? Where will he hide when persons who have no interest in spiritual advancement hunt him down?
My conclusion is that even though the married life has benefits in the social world, still these are offset by the negative aspects which are later imposed by fate. Few, if any ascetics, can become liberated while they serve in the married life. It is just not conducive to that.
In the history of India, the person who lived in the married life and who was a successful ascetic while doing that was Rama the son of Dashratha. But he is a Personality of Godhead, which means that a limited entity will not be able to live up to his standard of behavior. Even though he is God, still he had to face many challenges. He made ideal decisions every step of the way by outmaneuvering fate but a limited entity cannot be as successful doing that. Hence I say that wherever possible, an ascetic should take the single celibate life. If you have superhuman powers and sure psychic perception, then you may successfully traverse the married life. But it is unlikely that an ascetic will master that.
An easy to read version of the story of Rama, the son of Dashratha, as it was told by the original biographer, Valmiki is here:
