How I failed my guru and myself

May 17 2023 

Houston Texas 

How I failed my teacher Madhavacarya and subsequently failed myself.

This could be very easy. I had Madhavacarya for over twenty years and took my second initiation from him maybe five years after that. Ever since then he had been giving me instruction on various subject matters , but I will stick with yoga instructions. Madhavacarya had instructed to stay on  the path and keep a yoga journal .

Had I followed his instruction since then my progress may have been a lot better than it is today, and I could have been experiencing a lot more of my kundalini awakening. 

And that’s where I failed myself and Madhavacarya. That failure caused me many disappointments as a student .

And I’m sure it has caused Madhava lots of pain to see his long-time student haven’t made the progress I should have made , and for that I have lots of catching up to do lots of yoga austerities to get back on track. For myself and my guru. This is how  I have forced my psyche to condition my mind to follow instructions and do what I was told by guru without any reservation . I know I can a million reason for not following. But the fact would always the fact . I have failed .