Facts of Quitting a Self-destructive Habit
Meditationtime Forum Post
Date: Posted 3 years before Oct 10, 2016
MiBeloved 3 years ago
You do the last of your dope and you barricade yourself in your shitty apartment, saying, “Never again!” About ten hours later, your sense of who you are goes. A couple of hours later, your sense of where you are breaks down. Then your sense of why you are kicking disappears. Plus you feel like you’ve got the flu.
With no motive, no direction and no name, in the no time of deep withdrawal, the junkie’s brain is totally to memory. To the memory disease.
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This is from page 48 of White Out, the Secret Life of Heroin by Michael W Clune
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Just the subtitle of the book which is the secret life of heroin, lets us in on a big secret which is that the drug itself has a life of its own. The junkie’s life lost meaning because the drug took over and made use of it for the benefit of the drug.
People who smoke pot hardly realize that the marijuana has a life of its own. Sometimes I try to warn some of my friends, that in the astral world one could find oneself in a dimension in which human beings serve as fertilizer for marijuana plants where the plants feed on their astral fluids (subtle blood if you wish) by penetrating their veins and arteries and drawing fluids from there.
The humans are helpless and cannot free themselves from this abuse. Yes one might begin such habits in control, with an advantage to get the advantage to an easy high, an easy happiness, an easy sense of purpose, an easy source of artistic inspiration for music, painting or whatever. But will it remain so? When will the benefit begin going in the other direction, of the plants benefiting from the human beings, with the plants smoking up the human beings?
Are you high enough to perceive that future?
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Let’s read those two paragraphs from the book again:
You do the last of your dope and you barricade yourself in your shitty apartment, saying, “Never again!” About ten hours later, your sense of who you are goes. A couple of hours later, your sense of where you are breaks down. Then your sense of why you are kicking disappears. Plus you feel like you’ve got the flu.
With no motive, no direction and no name, in the no time of deep withdrawal, the junkie’s brain is totally to memory. To the memory disease.
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Here we are hearing about the components of consciousness, as to what happens when one feels unified with these components, as the whole person, and then those components disappear, as if they had an independent existence and refused to make their contributions to support the whole.
The guy decides to quit an undesirable habit. He has this bright idea that he can do it, but in that case it is not just him but there are psychic adjuncts which are with him when he made the decision. If they abandon him it would be like when a senior officer who is not surrounded by his troops. Suppose those troops desert him. He is senior but still by himself, he will be in some really scary shit, if they leave him and he has to face the energy all by himself.
The sense of who I am has to do with my acquired cultural identity, especially the one I acquired specifically in this life. If that disappears, I am up shit creek. All the pride in the world, all the sense of esteem will be shit-canned if my cultural identity disappears. Just go to a hostel for the aged, for those who have dementia and an Alzheimer’s. Then you will understand what I am talking about. You won’t mouth off some bullshit about your oneness, your God-nature etc.
The sense of where I am has to do with location. That is important. If I am in the country of my birth, in an area where my reputation stands and has value, then everything is okay of course. Take me. Drop me off from a helicopter in the middle of the Sahara. All my sense of place will be messed up. Shit what will I do then? I lost my footing. I am an American. They are Arabs. They see me as the enemy. I am not familiar with their lifestyle. The climate just does not suit me.
The sense of why I want to break a certain habit is essential if I am to overcome it. If that mental energy of motive abandons me the effort is over. But I thought that this energy was me. Now that it disappeared, I am feeling kind of funny. You mean I have to face up to the fact that even the sense of purpose is not me. It is a supportive energy. And to booth without it, I am shit. I am going nowhere. I cannot overcome the habit. I will continue the same self-destructive behavior. I and the vice are One? You tell me!
With
· no motive
· no direction
· no name
· the no time of deep withdrawal
The big guy was left all alone to realize that he was a nothing without certain psychic adjunct supports. He suddenly became aware of memory, that blasted friend and enemy combined into one reality. But memory was like a disease just reminding him to resume the habit if he wanted to get the adjuncts to be supporting him solidly again.
the junkie’s brain is totally to memory. To the memory disease.
What does habit have to do with memory?
The junkie, not even a yogi, not even a guy certified with a psychology degree came to the understanding of the power of memory in his mind, the power to sabotage his intention and prevent him from progressing in the quest to mothball an undesirable habit.
