Ancestral Force Series-1: Deity's reprimand and Energy given for Ancestral obligation

July 2021

Winston Salem, North Carolina

This is a prequel to  Ancestral Force Series-2: Ancestral Obligations stops Sannyasa (renunciation) which happened in Sept-October, 2021

Around this time, the matrimonial alliance as per Indian and family custom I took birth in has started, going in full swing and it was a few months old. I went out thinking it was easy to find a prospective bride in my case, as I was educated and in a western country. Conventionally, this is one of the easiest alliances to get fixed, everyone wants a groom with such qualifications, except there was a twist in my case.

The major criteria in traditional Indian matrimonial alliances are listed below, this is the sequence of the criteria, the parents of the bride or groom follow:

1. Same Religion
2. Same Caste (neither higher nor lower/ some like to go higher, only to be struck down)
3. Job/ Income/ Wealth (like to climb the ladder)
4. Family setup/ structure (no separations/ divorces)
5. Horoscope Match (Ultimate Criteria) (everyone wants the best fortune karma package, not the suffering package)
6. Girl/ Boy's decision (In my case, girls had more authority and they rejected me, I hardly rejected anyone)

At the end of this filtering of 6 criteria, hardly any match would occur. Some compromises have to be made here or there in some criteria for a marriage to happen. But hardly anyone makes the first step and everything reaches a stalemate.

Initially, everyone starts the matrimonial process as a fun process but within 2 weeks, the fun wanes out and people get desperate, frustrated, humiliated, and humbled. One will learn a lot of lessons in this process, I learned many things physically and psychically at the astral level. My family hasn't learned an iota or changed a bit from this excruciating process and went back to the old ways.

Out of 6 criteria, I had everything except one and that was a decent marriageable horoscope. In my Indian horoscope, I have a dosha, or defect, that directly hits my marriage or to-be spouse. The astrologer says the person strives for liberation and will have minor relationship hiccups. Some astrologers overamplify it and say the spouse can even die or end in a failed marriage. It is baseless but since Indian people have given extraordinary faith and confidence in the horoscope matching, there is no turnaround, I had a dead-end horoscope and only fate can relieve me. Literally, every girl's family was running away from my horoscope.

Almost at the stage of engagement fixing, the alliances got canceled due to the role played by astrologers. Several times, it was a roller coaster experience, up and down. When you think the girl's family has agreed to the proposal and give a sigh of relief, then some astrologers call the girl's family and convince them to call off the proposal and blackmail them of severe catastrophes awaiting them if they went forward with the marriage and the poor people buy into it.

By the way, these girls' horoscope wasn't any better than mine, but who is the best of the worst competition was going on. I opened the doors to go to people whose horoscopes are bad or had some defect those were highly educated engineers in USA/ western countries, but my parents vehemently cried and jumped from heaven to earth for my violation and taking this in control. I was smoldering in anger and just watched for all the stupid deluded circus going around me, At this pace, if it goes with so many criteria of filtering, it would take decades for me to get married and get the ancestral obligations done.

I was trying my best to keep my mercurial temperament in control with minimal damage, Madhva was taming me, and tied my hands, he wanted me to go thru this process earnestly and learn along the way. At one time, even he was frustrated and gave a timeline to get things done when the women in my family were indecisive, adamant, and failed to listen to any men in the family, making things even more difficult.

Day by day with frustrations, the elder women were getting more deluded and vehemently opposed any timeline concept, they said "Our right to choose a spouse for you, our decision, we take our time, don't you dare set deadlines for us".

My hands were tied by my Guru and fate, at this time I completely renounced the concept that I had any control in my marriage and left it to fate and deity to decide. Once I went to India after Deity's order and warning, Deity pushed things astrally and accelerated the marriage. The stupid women in my family were thinking that they accomplished this marriage and ignored Deity and Madhva's influence till today and never realized how many proposals failed in the last stage.

This made me rethink and evaluate the rebirth opportunities of different societies and cultures and gave me a reality check on my own society. 

Tired of this vedic jungle practices of horoscopes, I vowed to burn all the horoscopes once I reach India (I am saying this since childhood but to no avail) but the opposite happened, several more horoscopes by different people in different astrological systems were written without my consent and they preserved it in lockers and digitally saved. What is the point in physically burning when people are psychically attached to it?

Confused Youth Days

Initially, I vowed and roamed like a son of Adi Shankara with an atheistic Advatic (Impersonal Atheistic Non-Dualist) mindset, vowing to break all shackles of the caste and religious barriers in India and set a strong example for people to follow. I was that mercurial uncontrollable rebel, I tried to find a girl exactly opposite of my caste and religion and failed pretty badly. No one came to me with an open mindset, I ran an experiment for 6 months and the results were an utter failure, not a single girl turned up.

Then thought, a Buddhist/atheistic-inclined girl would be better but even that turned out to be a failure and this created a bigger irritation to most of the ancestors (some of them supported) but most of them complained to the Family Gaurding deity, especially my living women family members.

Then thought, why not take full-time renunciation after such initial marriage failures? I was practical enough to understand that my body has sexual urges and I was taking shelter in porn to relieve the pressure. I was wandering astrally and searching physically to get yogic techniques to clean the body of sexual urges. One after the other, in that search I ended up with Madhva. 

Madhva pacified the Family's Guardian Deity

Madhva realized the situation and slowly changed things around in a few weeks time and changed my psyche to honor the ancestral obligations and the contract of the spouse, my family would choose. I unconditionally surrendered to my family's will because Madhva and Babaji wanted it that way. 

But then it has been a few months, and all we had was failures and several last-minute cancellations due to some hidden X factors.

On July 2021, astrally Madhva took me (my friend accompanied me) to my guardian deity. We were sitting on a staircase leading to the deity Kaateri Ma (She is the sister of Kali Ma and Ganga Ma). She appeared as a big heavy fair skinned brahmin teacher in a black saree. The form assumed of brahmin lady is the one who taught me during my childhood days on spiritual topics. I was very close to that brahmin lady teacher as she was very loving and imparted a lot of virtues for which I am ever grateful to her. 

Madhva later told me that Deity appeared in that pleasant brahmin lady form just for me because if she would have shown her real form, I would not be trying to run away because I would have already fainted right there. Kateri Ma's form can be equal to or even more terrifying than Kali Ma's form, this is not hyperbole and I will leave it to the reader's discretion without going into more details on it. A respectable distance has to be maintained. 

Madhva's sat on the stairs, and I sat beside him. Madhva gave a facial signal telling me to ask her about your marriage and a message "She might be able to help you".

I was in a boy form, I gave my horoscope book to her in the hope that she will say something positive. In India, in my region, usually, the prospective bride or groom roams around with a horoscope book in hand to the astrologer's house and asks when they would get married, that's custom, it just transpired astrally. 

Goddess received the book, she browsed a few pages and in seconds she threw it on my face and said in a cursing manner, "You will never get married". I was dumbfounded and shell-shocked by this utterance and looked at Madhva helplessly.

Goddess Transfer of Energy:

Madhva quickly got up from the stairs and ran to the Goddess and whispered something in her ears.

Then suddenly from a boy form, I got transformed into my current adult form. 

I was lying flat on the ground with open eyes and I could see so realistically with a lot of physicalness when Goddess appeared on top of me and she put her left hand over my chest and her left knee over my genitals in a yogic manner. I felt the weight of her hand on my chest.

Suddenly, from her third eye, a yellow flash of energy was transferred to my third eye for several seconds and she pushed an energy packet in form of a ball into my genitalia from her knee. I saw all this with open eyes and astral sense in that astral realm, one of the most physical experiences I ever had in an astral dimension.  

After 20-30 seconds of energy transfer, she jumped out and walked away. She turned to me and said "Go away now, you will get married!" and she dismissed me.

Friendship of Yogi and Deities

Then, Goddess & Madhva were sitting together closely on the bench and a table. They were laughing, smiling, and dashing shoulders and rubbing arms like longtime college buddies seen after a long time and joking with each other on some old-time stories.

I am still wondering what just happened astrally with the energy transfusion and why is guruji acting like he saw a close friend. Madhva later said generally Yogis and Deities are friendly and cordial to each other but we still maintain a respectable distance and not meddling too much in internal affairs.

Then, an adult person came with his horoscope book which is essentially a karmic book, and gave it to the Deity. A similar incident happened, the Goddess took the book without even reading it and threw it at his face. She yelled at him like this, "You piece of crap! how many girl's life you ruined, get lost from here". 

I heard what Madhva whispered hurriedly to the Goddess's ears "Ask about that girl, Roma....how she was destroyed" (Could not get it accurate astrally, as the message waned off).

Goddess said "Yes, that too" and yelled at that man " Get out idiot... Get lost"

That man just collected his book from the ground and walked away telling "I should have never come here, I got treated like crap" and he walked away arrogantly with no remorse.

I am sitting on the ground and wondering what was all happening right there, everything was new to me. And then I woke up.

I am wondering who could that man be, there is a high probability that it could be my biological father from whom I took this birth. It is still a hunch, I could not confirm it. If I was a strange specimen, he is something else. In this life and past lives, he has ruined several girl's life and our family's life.

He is already paying the price in this life itself. The bad karmic leftover energies in his psyche are driving him to end his life by killing himself several times, somehow I am keeping him away from such a path and reforming him as much as possible in his remaining life.

It was a circumstantial trap that he held my hands and begged me to give asylum, even though he was never around me throughout my life and he went to the extent of almost destroying my marriage on the day of the wedding (the marriage was sponsored by the Goddess, Goddess would have hunted him down if the wedding was called off due to him) by creating ruckus and abusive, vulgar talks throughout the wedding and aftermath.

If I did not give him the asylum in whatever way I could and supported him from my other family members who had enough of him, he was ready to walk to the beach and end his life. The remaining family members and relatives were determined to kick him out of the house and land him penniless on the road and drive him till he dies by begging on the streets, that was the level of resentment he earned.

I did not want to be directly or remotely responsible in any way for his killing himself, it could lead to traces of patricide which I want to avoid at all costs as it can have disastrous karmic returns (Buddha warns us of Matricide and Patricide, as it can lead to heavy paybacks). I suffered pretty well psychically and physically due to his association and earned a lot of curses and resentment from all family members but nothing compared to patricide paybacks, I am trying my best to pay my obligation in the best possible way and also I don't want to see a life killing itself when there is reform available but is he willing to reform? That's a big question. No, he is not willing to reform. I know this factually and I have to put up with this. That is fate!